Me First!

"Dancing into my own little world is what I like to do, no one can come in and take me away; for dance is the way into this world bringing joy and love to everyone, not anger and hatred. You can come into this world too, bringing joy and love, by doing the thing you love to do!"  - FaceBook Post by my daughter, Amanda Kersker


We have teased Amanda about having her own little world since she was about 5 or 6 years old when one night as we tucked her in we asked her "What color is the sky in your world?"  She very simply looked up at us without missing a beat and answered, "Purple."

What can you say to that?  To some degree Amanda has never out grown her own little world and as I read posts like this I see that she is learning about cultivating or defining what that world is like - a place filled with joy and love.

I've been spending a lot of time lately thinking about environment creating.  My thoughts aren't necessarily as orderly as I'd like but each time I sit down and write I'm exploring another aspect.  In earlier posts I've looked at distractions to cultivating our Haven environments and in another why we pursue creating the Haven.  Today, what is on my heart is the idea that it begins with me.

I couldn't begin to create a Haven for my family until I worked on myself first - really it was allowing God to work on me - healing my heart and opening my eyes to His truths.  I had to be willing to go places in my heart with God that were hard - that meant admitting to my husband I was wrong and then changing my actions to match what was right and true.

All of us have baggage.  We learn this game of life by trial and error.  If we have godly parents that guide and direct us and we listen, maybe the baggage isn't as much.  For others of us our parents, friends, and many others contribute to that baggage as we choose to listen to wrong advise or maybe are victimized by abuse or the poor choices of others.  As we go through life, these end up effecting who we are and how we respond to situations and to others - especially those closest to us, our family.

Some of my baggage that I needed to deal with and allow God to heal in me manifested itself as poor self image, low self-esteem, and an unhealthy picture of sexuality.  Probably Satan's strongest tool against me even now is the thought that "I am not good enough."

When I began my process, it began with me learning to see myself the way God saw me and to accept that; it began with me seeing my roles in life the way God did - being a stay at home mom and wife wasn't because I wasn't good enough at something else; it began with me seeing His design for sexuality and throwing away stuff from the past.

I guess my point for today is that in this case it really is "ME FIRST."   Until I began with me and started working through my stuff, I was too defensive to address any of the other issues (distractions to my Haven) as they came up.  A comment about the house or dinner was seen as an attack and my head just kept ringing with "I'm not good enough" which became a downward spiral.

The process is a continual one, but once I began to open my mind and heart to what God wanted me to see and one by one I brought my actions in line with that, it was like dominoes falling into place and it began to make a beautiful design!


Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will. 
(Rom 12:2 NIV)


In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for noble purposes and some for ignoble. If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work. 
(2Ti 2:20-21 NIV)

The Why of It

There are times that I go into a fast food restaurant and I simply can't enjoy the experience - not the food, nor the company.  Why? Because it is simply dirty!  I feel like I stick to the seat; the fountain thingies look like they have mold spots... YUCK!  I don't go back!  In the meantime, I'm not focused on who I'm with or what is being said because I'm checking every bite of my food!

The goal for a restaurant should be to create an environment that keeps you wanting to come back - much like our Haven!

For a business, their purpose in creating this positive environment is simply a bottom line number on some financial spreadsheet.  Our purpose in creating a Haven is to experience what God had planned for us when He created families all the way back with Adam and Eve.

God removed physical stuff as a distraction as we talked about last time, but today I want to focus not on the what (distractions of clothes, food, etc.) but on the why (to experience God's intention/design for families).

God knows that we get caught up in these destractions even as Believers who trust God to take care of us.  All the more for those who are unbelievers or who are new in their walk with God.

So don't worry about these things, saying, 'What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?' These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need. 

(Mat 6:25-33 NLT)

Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone. 

(Col 4:5-6 NLT)

Our goal in creating this Haven is not only to create a place that our family want to be, but most importantly to create an environment where they can experience God.

In embracing the mission of cultivating the environment of your Haven, you are asking God to take you personally on a journey where you will come to know and understand His desires for you and your family.  The removing of distractions is a means of helping draw your family closer to God's picture.

What do you think was a part of God's design for family?  Are your family dynamics based more on God's design, personal experiences growing up, or the world in general?  Spend some time asking God to help you see HIs design.


Read and meditate on Genesis 2:8-25.


Lord, I pray that you will make clear to us what your design is for family.  Help us to model for the families with whom we come in touch, your incredible love and that they will be drawn into the family of God.  In your name I pray, Amen.

Environment Creating

The LORD God made all sorts of trees grow up from the ground--trees that were beautiful and that produced delicious fruit. In the middle of the garden He placed the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. 

(Gen 2:9 NLT)

Yesterday, I painted a picture of a safe haven - a place where our family wants to be, a place that builds them all up in Christ to go out into the world.  I also challenged you to think about those things that are a distraction to creating an environment where our family wants to be.  

For me, my list that negatively effected the environment 10 years ago consisted of things like doing laundry, and having dinner planned and prepared (oh, yeah, without complaining); but things like not tearing my husband down, listening before speaking, and doing nice things for family members when I least felt like it (especially my husband! :) eventually ended up on my list as well.

I started with the things that came up most often as issues in our home which was usually physical, surface stuff like the laundry, dinner, or toys on the floor.  One other thing that I distinctly remember is that I needed to learn to give him time when he first came home before I hit him with stuff from my day.  

I ended up approaching these things with a new attitude because the purpose wasn't simply doing a mundane task that would need to be redone tomorrow.  It's purpose was creating a Haven for my family where they wanted to be.  I had a bigger purpose.  

God did this in the Garden of Eden.  The physical needs of life were all taken care of with a variety of trees which provided their food - no laundry needed, all meals pick and go.  

God also put a tree in the middle of the Garden that gave mankind a choice in this haven that He created for them.

It is not any different really in our Havens.   As I removed these mundane physical issues from our Haven, real things emerged.  I began to see how choices in my attitude and the words that I said were impacting that environment of the Haven I was trying to create.  

Each family member has a choice in how they will impact the environment of your Haven.  I learned that the only person I could change to effect the environment of our Haven was me.  So whatever role that you may play in your family, the process of cultivating your Haven begins with you.  

Prayerfully, look over the list of things that are negatively impacting your family's safe Haven.  

1. Begin by embracing this mission of creating a safe Haven.  
2. Remove negative influences on the environment of your Haven. 
3. Also, begin praying - asking God to help you see other things that are effecting your Haven.  

I will be praying for you...

The Haven

The orginal Haven...

Then the LORD God planted a garden in Eden in the east, 

and there He placed the man He had made. 

(Gen 2:8 NLT)

In the world... but not of the world...

"I do not ask You to take them out of the world, but to keep them from the evil one. "They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. 

(Joh 17:15-16 NASB)

I have titled my bloggings "The Haven" because it is a picture that God gave to me over 10 years ago now and the picture is very close to my heart.  


In many ways this is probably my first blog for the Haven even though there are a few others out there previously.  This is the first because I want to explain why I am doing this.  God has given me a picture and a passion for families.  As I share nugget size thoughts and insights I hope to be an encouragement to others.  I also hope that this will be a place for you to share comments, thoughts, and even prayers.  My hope is that this will not be some detached ramblings but will be a place where we can both share and be approachable.  I know that I will be blessed as I clarify my thoughts for myself and hopefully you will be  blessed as God works through us both.


At the time that the picture of the Haven came into focus for me, I simply had a heartfelt desire to  be the kind of woman, wife, and mom that God wanted me to be.  I wish I could even say that it was my pursuit, but it seemed to hit me in the face at every turn like God was pursuing me.  The devotion that I read, my scripture reading schedule, and so much more seemed to pull me along in my process.  


The picture was simply a safe place, a haven, for my family.  It would be a place that my husband wants to come home to, that would be a respit from the world that he was in throughout the day at work.  For my kids it would be a place where they knew that they were loved unconditionally.  I saw my home as the tool for this, but as the years have gone on we have realized that the home is a starting point, but as we grow we actually become a haven for others to experience.   This Haven was and is to be a place that builds my family up for the purpose of empowering others to walk together with God, the foundation and source of our safe Haven.    


God is the original creator of havens... He made the Garden of Eden as a special place for mankind.  He hoped that it would be a place that they wanted to be.  Over this week I will explore some parallels with the Garden of Eden and our havens.


Jesus calls us to be in the world, but not of it... We need to have a place (or places) that reminds us whose we are (God's) and builds us up while we continue to go into the world to empower one more to walk together with God.


As we begin this process take some time and think about the state of your haven or home.  Ask God to help you see your home and family through His eyes.  Make a list of all the things that are a distraction from your home being a place your family wants to be.  Give the list over to God and determine to work with Him on one thing on the list to create an environment where your family will more want to be.


I invite you back regularly to continue the process, to help us all remain focused as we empower one more to walk with God by beginning at home and then going out into the world.

Giving Thanks and Praise

Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done. Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts. Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice. Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always. 

(Psa 105:1-4 NIV)

I thank You,  Lord, for every day that we had with Bernie.  I thank you for the values and character with which he raised my husband into the man of God that he is today.  I thank you for the work that he now leads here in Valparaiso, the friends who have supported us through the difficult times, and what You are building through all of us. 


Lord, when I recall the ways you have worked in my life - the people that you have placed along the way to encourage, guide, and support me; and the times that I have been led by the Spirit - I am in total awe of you.  There is no doubting that You are real - living and active all around me.  You have prepared my spirit to handle the most difficult things that I have dealt with in life.  For this and so much more, I thank You and give You praise.


I pray that I will always seek You, look for your strength, live a life that honors you and draws others to you, and now, Lord, as I do these things I hope I will always pause to thank You as the source and to make known among the nations what you have done.  I pray all this in your name.

As Jesus continued on toward Jerusalem, He reached the border between Galilee and Samaria. As He entered a village there, ten lepers stood at a distance, crying out, "Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!" He looked at them and said, "Go show yourselves to the priests." And as they went, they were cleansed of their leprosy. One of them, when he saw that he was healed, came back to Jesus, shouting, "Praise God!" He fell to the ground at Jesus' feet, thanking Him for what He had done. This man was a Samaritan. Jesus asked, "Didn't I heal ten men? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give glory to God except this foreigner?" And Jesus said to the man, "Stand up and go. Your faith has healed you. " 

(Luk 17:11-19 NLT)

Are you seeing what God is doing for you?  Around you?  Are you pausing to run back, praise Him and give Him thanks?  Take a few minutes to allow the Spirit to guide your thoughts to see what God has done and then give Him thanks and praise!

A Lifestyle of Worship

Give thanks to the LORD and proclaim His greatness. Let the whole world know what He has done. Sing to Him; yes, sing His praises. Tell everyone about His wonderful deeds. Exult in His holy name; rejoice, you who worship the LORD. Search for the LORD and for His strength; continually seek Him. 

(Psa 105:1-4 NLT)

This passage is one that I have simply been meditating on all week.  Sometimes I will simply swing the pendulum the other direction and read the interpretation from the Message:  

Hallelujah! Thank GOD! Pray to him by name! Tell everyone you meet what he has done! Sing him songs, belt out hymns, translate his wonders into music! Honor his holy name with Hallelujahs, you who seek GOD. Live a happy life! Keep your eyes open for GOD, watch for his works; be alert for signs of his presence. 

(Psa 105:1-4 MSG)

I seem to have been working backwards in this... First with God sightings (be alert for signs of His presence MSG); Next, I focused on  "search for the Lord and His strength (NLT)."  In continuing to look at this passage, today I'm focusing on "Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice. (Psa 105:3 NIV)"  In other words WORSHIP!

And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all He has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice--the kind He will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship Him. 

(Rom 12:1 NLT)

So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life--your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life--and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. 

(Rom 12:1 MSG)

As we spend time remembering Pete's Dad this week, I see how he lived out his worship of God in every aspect of his life: 

• His choices of career - police officer, homicide detective, coroner's office - are ones that focused on righteousness, justice, and honor.  
• His personal life draws the tie from this to God as the source.  Bernie had a strong faith - right is right and wrong is wrong was defined by God's standard.   He pointed his family to God and His righteousness but he also demonstrated unconditional love that transcended times of failure.    
• His life's mission these last couple of years has been to brighten the lives of others with unexpected blessings of praise and appreciation.

Honor His holy name with Hallelujahs [praises], you who seek God.  Live a happy life! - Bernie did this!  Now it's our turn...


This week has its sadness with loss but we also don't grieve as those without hope.  That hope is in Christ Jesus our Lord.   This life is but a blink of an eye in comparison to what God has in store for eternity.  


The God-sightings and searching for God's strength are simply tools for helping us to live a life of worship.  It is so easy to bring Him honor in both good times and bad when we see His hand in the circumstances around us and His strength being provided through others.  He is bigger than anything we face in this life!  


While I have used the Message phrasing of "Honor his holy name with Hallelujahs...Live a happy life!" because of its strong emotional impact, I think it is imcomplete without a more intellectual understanding.  The NIV translations reads "Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice."  Happy gives a simple emotional connotation while, for me at least, rejoice carries a connotation of happiness that transcends physical circumstances.  (i.e. glory in His name -Shine because of God and what He can do not because of the situation you are in!)  It is why Paul could rejoice in prison and through beatings - he saw that his temporary discomfort and  pain were for God's greater glory and that overflowed in happiness/rejoicing.  It is why people being persecuted for Christ around the world today continue to stand firm and rejoice knowing that the kingdom of God is furthered.  They glory in God and that continues to draw others and grow the church.  These people both then and now live a life of worship through whatever circumstances they find themselves...


I want to live a lifestyle of worship... Many of you see the work that I do, the hours that I put in and in our culture I'm sure that that can spell workaholism and raise other such flags, but through this blog what I want you to see is that I don't work for praise or money or success... it is my act of worship.  It is my means of honoring God in all that I do and of contributing to the advancement of His kingdom.  This is only secondary to the worship that I live out as I support my husband's life's mission and raise my kids to seek God... His strength... and to live their own lifestyle of worship.


At times I lose focus but this is my goal... to shine for Him so that others are drawn to Him and to worship Him in all that I do.  May God be praised!


Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice. 
(Psa 105:3 NIV)


Are you experiencing true worship - the everyday, ordinary life--your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life--and place it before God as an offering - kind of worship?  Begin by seeking Him at work around you and look for His strength in life, then worship will begin to overflow from the reality of God's greatness!

Search for the Lord and His Strength

Give thanks to the LORD and proclaim His greatness. Let the whole world know what He has done. Sing to Him; yes, sing His praises. Tell everyone about His wonderful deeds. Exult in His holy name; rejoice, you who worship the LORD. Search for the LORD and for His strength; continually seek Him. 

(Psa 105:1-4 NLT)

These God sightings (times where I pause long enough to see God's hand at work in the world, circumstances, and in others) are something that at various times in my life have been critical in creating my safe haven for me and my family.  You see, where I see God working, it is easier for me to rest in Him and know that I don't have to do it all on my own.  


Today I woke thinking about the part of this passage that says "search for the Lord and for His strength."  It reminded me of a time when I was so completely discouraged and frustrated with the task before me that I began to pray - praying words that I often said but now they hit me as being hopeless in my discouragement.  I prayed for God to give me strength.  I proceeded after I prayed the words to almost get angry at God asking Him what that even means... He felt like some ambiguous ghost that if He even really existed was no where around.  As I prayed and dumped my frustration and doubts the phone rang.  I answered it hesitantly.  It was an acquaintance from church, someone I hadn't gotten to know well yet.  I can't begin to tell you what we talked about or how the conversation developed, but what I do remember was hanging up the phone and in my spirit I heard God say, "There is my strength."  


God works through others.  His strength comes from words of encouragement and support expressed through others.  This was a huge "ah ha" moment I will always treasure.  Today, I add another piece to it.  If I had connected that renewed strength to the person on the other end of the line, it would have been temporary and dependent on people.  As I "searched for the Lord" in the process and sighted Him in the interaction, I recognize that He is always there to meet my needs - sometimes through others, sometimes with a quiet voice within my spirit.  So I continue to seek Him.


As we gather in Cincinnati for Pete's Dad's funeral I once again see God's strength being provided through friends and family around the country.  Thanks to our family in Valpo and our family in Cincy.  I give praise to the God who binds us all together.


Proclaim His greatness by sharing where God is strengthening you today.  See Him as the source and give Him thanks.

Continually Seek Him!

Recently I had the opportunity to attend a Family Ministry conference in Loveland, CO.  There are many things that I will be processing for some time, but immediately I have taken the reminder to look for "God sightings" (seeing at work around us - through the world, circumstances, and others).   This isn't a new concept, but one that as my days have gotten busier and urgencies seem to increase, has easily slipped away.

As I look back over the last 6 months it is easy to see the hand of our enemy actively pursuing us, God's children, from the flooding of our facility, 5 weeks of moving around, hurting friends and fellow servants, and numerous health issues from a bad flu (and post flu) season to now the loss of both Frank's and Pete's fathers within 3 weeks of each other.  It is easy to get down and feel defeated, and many around me have had moments of struggling with this.  But this is only half the story...

Give thanks to the LORD and proclaim His greatness. Let the whole world know what He has done. Sing to Him; yes, sing His praises. Tell everyone about His wonderful deeds. Exult in His holy name; rejoice, you who worship the LORD. Search for the LORD and for His strength; continually seek Him. 

(Psa 105:1-4 NLT)

Over the last few months, I have watched as the body of Christ stepped up as Frank and Tricia met the needs of his parents in Florida with almost continual care since his dad's cancer diagnosis in December to the time that he went home on February 21st.  I have seen God working though the worship team not only through the notes they sing and play, but most importantly in the love and support that they display for God, Frank, and the mission of empowering one more as they worked through difficult times without Frank to lead them.  Their commitment to God as their ultimate leader was evident. They led us in worship through their actions and very lives.  God was there!

I watched as people stepped up to help with the coffee bar in service and provisions as Tricia cared for her father-in-law.  Others stepped up and helped with the financial needs that Trish usually oversees.  God is there!

Now as I look over the last week, my heart overflows with God sightings!  

• Monday night our Saturn broke down while I was running around down town.  It was close enough to Manda's dance place that we could leave the car there for the night with no issue.  God.  
• The next morning I made several calls to repair places that we might be able to get the car to... the cheapest place was also the closest - less than a mile away.  They proved to not only offer reasonable prices but also honest, reliable service.  God.  
• Upon finding someone offering reasonable prices, we asked about the van which we have fought an issue with filling the tank all winter (it would take 30-45 minutes to fill the 20 gallon tank!).  This service station fixed the issue at about half what the dealership quoted.  God.  We decided to do the repair after getting the Saturn back. 
• Thursday afternoon, Pete spoke with his mom.  He could hear the strain and anxiety in her voice.  Dad was having good days and bad days.  We had seen him 3 weeks earlier and he was doing better than we had seen in a while but upon hearing his mom, his spirit (God's spirit within him) was unsettled.  Pete decided on the spot to rent a car (we had one in the shop) and go to Cincinnati and see his parents and bring Becca back for spring break.  GOD!
• Thursday night when I was running the evening stuff the service engine light came on in the Saturn.  I was watching for the signs I had earlier in the week and just prayed that I would be able to get Manda and myself home.  We pulled into the driveway.  I thanked God and then turned off the engine.  I decided to try to start it... it wouldn't start.  God is so awesome!
• It gets better... Friday the car started so that I could get it to the service station and pick up the repaired van!  They found the loose connection on the repaired alternator of the Saturn.  Pete hadn't taken the Saturn and gotten stuck and I hadn't gotten stuck! God is way cool!
• I've had 3 people interested in helping in children's ministry.  One of which helped me during the week which allowed us to spend Saturday together at home with Becca and all our kids!  God...
• Sunday when we heard that Dad had been taken to ER we were surrounded by friends who lifted up Mom and Dad... God...
• Sunday Night... God was our comfort as we learned that Dad had gone home.. God.
• This week as we travel to Cincinnati, we have 2 cars prepared to make the trip... Only God!
• The list goes on and on...

Give thanks to the LORD and proclaim His greatness. Let the whole world know what He has done. Sing to Him; yes, sing His praises. Tell everyone about His wonderful deeds. Exult in His holy name; rejoice, you who worship the LORD. Search for the LORD and for His strength; continually seek Him.

Continually seek Him... we don't see God in the hard times because we don't practice seeking Him on a regular basis and letting the whole world know what He has done.  God is at work in mighty ways all around you and me... seek Him today and let the whole world know!

(Not so long next time... I promise!)